I’ve done DMT 5x now and only once, the most recent time- was remotely beautiful. The other 4 were downright terrifying. Like am I dying? Is this what death feels like? Kind of terrifying. And tbh. It makes me fear dying, a lot. Imagine jumping from a plane no parachute kind of resistance. To where it becomes physically painful as you resist your cells expanding infinitely into the universe. I see this level of resistance in my life, too. Fear of stepping into my dharma. Fear of letting go of control. Fear of imperfection. Ironically, fear of being seen. To flow effortlessly, gracefully through all obstacles is my constant life goal. And- I see all of the growth I’ve had, I do. But sometimes I get impatient wanting more. Expecting more. More growth. More love. More trust. Other times I weep in gratitude and I wish I could tell young me that we are leaps and bounds beyond where we could have ever imagined. Far beyond what we were taught. To keep trusting and loving- it’s gets SO much better. To tell her- love drives us and though we aren’t perfect we are patient, loving and trusting in a way we never knew.