And of course the other way around. Do not underestimate the importance of understanding the richness and complexity of your partner’s past and childhood. The way their family operated carries a lot of weight. The way they communicated and fought matters. The beliefs they held about people and the world matters. The things they prioritized matters. If you’re trying to solve things in your relationship and you’re not exploring yours and their family systems and origin stories then you are undoubtedly operating with a set of cards that’s missing pretty much every card. What more can you learn about their story? What more can you learn about what it was like growing up? What more can you learn about how their family did things, what they believed, how they treated one another, and beyond. Might that begin to help you understand what plays out between the two of you now? Might that begin to point you, relationally, in the direction that needs attention and healing. #mindfulmft