When I had back labor our entire birth I immediately felt disappointed. I worked so hard to prepare my mindset for birth and once that first contraction hit it seemed like that was all gone. I wanted my magical homebirth where I was laughing and crying and enjoying myself. Instead, I got a very serious and focused birth. And you know what? I wouldn't change it. I took many courses, read all the books, and listened to all of the podcasts. And I think it's great to do that. It's important to educate yourself and have a good understanding of birth beforehand. I didn't hear any positive birth stories that weren't all happy though. So in my mind, I felt like I was not having that. That this would be a struggle the whole time. But in reality, I was having my birth experience and I was okay. We were undisturbed. I was comfortable at home and could do whatever I wanted. Yes, the back labor hurt. I mean really hurt, but I was still able to get through it and both me and Eliana were healthy and happy in the end. Birth can be both painful and beautiful at the same time. It was intense and exhausting but also ended up being the most important spiritual moment of my life. If you want a little peek at what our birth was like, you can swipe through to see a few images from start to finish. And of course, listen to this week's Are You Menstrual? Podcast episode where my husband and I go into all the details! Listen anywhere podcasts are played or watch on Youtube (link in bio).