“Maybe I’ll come out next pride”, I said to my friend @kristjana_hillberg on a video chat last week. The minute I closed that chat with her, I realized I am intentionally withholding a truth. And once I know I am withholding out of fear of judgement, I know I need to dig in + say something. Part of me wanted to never really talk about it and have it not be a “thing”, like I just wanted to casually bring it up in convo with those I feel comfortable with and have that just be it. But when I justified it to Kris, I realized a hiding happening. A real fear of judgment based off me being married to a man and a fear of letting others see me. I had my first crush on a girl in high school. It wasn’t a girl I knew IRL but rather a girl I knew through MySpace (lol), whose photos I looked at constantly. I talked myself into not having feelings for her when a classmate called me “gross” for liking her. So I packed those thoughts up and kept them mostly to myself until I started to explore them in my mid-twenties. Our shame is so sneaky. Shame tells us there is something inherently wrong with us and we should pack up certain parts of who we are and hide them under the bed for no one else to see. I spent a lot of my teens asking myself “who do you like more tho?” as if I had to pick a team. As if all of my feelings were not valid. I’m a bisexual woman married to a man. This doesn’t make me any less bi and I have to keep reminding myself that. It’s all a f*cking spectrum anyways. Yes, I was so scared to post this ::hint hint:: at me posting on the last day of pride month at 8pm at night. But I spend my life reminding you all to fully be yourself, unapologetically - so tonight, I’m reminding myself. *Resharing one of my most proud moments of 2022 and most popular post of the year (posted in June) Inspired by @momlife_comics Original caption: 🌈 💗💜💙#pride #biwoman #lgbtq