1 in 3 (30%) of women worldwide have been subjected to either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime. Most of this violence is intimate partner violence. (World Health Organization) As a woman who has survived DV, I’ve noticed that one of the first things people say about it is “why didn’t you just leave?” For most of us, it’s not as easy as “just leaving”. My second ex tried to kill me when I left. (2014) Fortunately , his grandma showed up out of nowhere so I survived the situation. But she still walked me around the block and told me not to call the cops because “deep down her grandson was a good man”. The ignorant blame or disbelief placed on women who are victims of DV is terrifying. Part of why I share details of what I’ve been through is so that people can gain a greater understanding of abusive situations. I also share so that individuals currently dealing with DV can be encouraged to know they are not alone and they can survive and get out. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 ☎️ Through therapy I’ve been able to finally understand where my accountability is, why I kept choosing harmful individuals. I was raised in a mentally/verbally abusive home, so a lot of behaviors that should have been red flags to me were actually just familiar behaviors. Being screamed at, gaslit, and degraded were regular to me. Until things became physical, I didn’t even realize I was being abused. I’m grateful to be at a point where I no longer choose people with toxic behaviors. I don’t tolerate being treated certain ways, and I know that anyone who truly loves me would never want to degrade or manipulate me to their own benefit. If you’re currently in an abusive relationship, please know that even though they make you feel like it’s your fault, even though they make you feel unworthy or like you’re not enough.... None of their twisted reasoning for their behaviors will ever make their behaviors okay. You deserve to be respected, loved and safe. You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells with a partner or be constantly fighting and getting nowhere. You deserve to feel safe, cherished, and truly loved.