On grieving: It was my grandmother’s birthday yesterday. I lived with my grandparents for the first 12 or so years of my life and my grandmother was definitely like a mother to me and also my best friend. We spent so much time together every day, especially in the summers in Rhode Island at the beach. She loved the beach and swimming and she taught me how to swim in the waves in Narragansett. I never had regular swimming lessons. At night when she put me to bed she reminded me that we would always be friends. I lost her at such a pivotal time in my life, in 2011. I often think how different things would be if I could have had her guidance and support just a few more years. Or sometimes I dream about if I could just have one day to spend with her now. She loved all animals but especially birds and when I see the goldfinch I think of her. I saw so many in the field yesterday. She was bubbly and energetic and always in motion but one time I remember seeing her sitting on her bed (probably getting a moment of peace and quiet from me) and she looked so sad. When I asked her to what was wrong she told me she missed her mom. Sometimes I would see her looking at a photo of her mom that she kept in her wallet. Someone told me once that when you lose someone you feel untethered to the world. I think about how I am her now. I am pouring my love and care into someone while I long for the person who poured that love and care into me. Someday Ivan will see me sitting on my bed, staring into space thinking about her + missing her. Someday he might notice me looking at her photo in my purse. She was born July 20, 1930 the youngest of three children of Italian immigrants. Her mother from Benevento outside of Naples. She was the only girl of the family to attend college and had to fight to get there. She graduated from the University of Connecticut and Yale University School of Nursing. She was passionate about both education, her career in nursing and particularly public health. She worked for the State of Connecticut Health Dept., Division of Maternal and Child Healthcare for 20 years. She cared deeply about people + that showed through in her work and her family life ❤️