JOURNEY(abbreviated)✨Time rolled up on me like a dense fog. Taking little bites of night while I slept with my eyes open. I was stargazing like I often did & I learned to twinkle up there with the best of them. From Little Dipper to Big Bear I grew. Became some old complicated shit like Cassiopeia. Caught me out there between Pluto & the galaxy 2 doors down from my childhood. See I don't know if I was born with this affliction or if it was born of necessity & I don't wonder if it's a curse or blessing anymore because reality jumped up & ripped the Faust face from mine. I get bits and pieces every now & then of how it happened. Why I think tv should be banned from the ghetto. Once I stuck my head in a vise right between Brady Bunch & Beaver Cleaver. Now I'm walking round with 2 screws sticking out the side of my head a cross between Frankenstein & my favorite Martian. God's gotta fucked up sense of humor sometimes. So I used to move a lot. But I have moved through classes, races, genders and marital statuses thru drugs, prisons, gods, sexual identities, heavens, hells, worlds, bodies, spirits & minds. Just your runofthemill recycled re-invented miracle. But why don't they tell you that wills & ways are for the rich who buy, sell & trade dreams like they playing the stock market? That hope is peso on Wall st & mixed up lil Black girls from ghetto who are low on self confidence can't use self-esteem for collateral, especially when it's been whipped outta u, just stolen right from under my nose while I was jumping rope, playing kickball and thinking I was a kid, while everyone else was playing pretend, playin like I was a grown up. But once you swallow that American Dream shit it ain't going nowhere. I've fucked my self so many ways trying to get it and get rid of it that I've turned into a real, live dream binging and purging mirage-aholic. Even after I've whipped out my fierce psychoanalytical deconstructionist kung fu moves-it's still there. The last internalized subatomic explosion of 1991 Just a Big Fat Cockroach nibbling away at my consciousness & I'll be dammed if I ain't right back where I started-trying to live a dream and being sentenced to Life instead.