Why You Get Into So Many Bad Relationships: Self Erasure (You Erase Your Needs to Avoid Conflict) Why do people self-erase? 1) Pain of past conflicts 2) Fear of losing out/people 3) Lack of presence It makes so much sense. You think that by having little to no needs, you makes yourself a better (easier) partner. However, what you do instead is transform yourself into a human doormat. You keep being mistreated because you are welcoming of people wiping their feet on you. Ouch! You are too valuable to be treated like that! Instead, do this: 1) Speak Up- tell your spouse/family what you need upfront and make sure you match energy 2) Stand Up- in a conflict...restate your position versus acquiescing every time. At least, have an impasse that leads to true negotiation and blending of perspectives...a real relationship 3) Move up- move differently until you feel seen, heard and loved. Stop doing for him/her until they match energy. Look for better jobs where you are respected. Demand that people match your value versus discounting all the doggone time. When you show up, stand up and move up, the world will meet you in a more giving place. Why? You demand more and, thus, get more. Your past trauma is not your present or future. God Bless!