If I had a dollar for every time people have underestimated me, I would be rich by now. In fact, as you read about in my book, I was told that the odds were quite low that I would get into doctoral programs in psychology. When it was time to apply for postdocs, I was given lackluster support because it was believed that I didn’t have enough publications. Never mind that I didn’t have access to the mentorship I needed because I did not enter graduate school with previous connections or experience since I came straight from undergrad. As a person of color, I had become accustomed to being overlooked, undervalued, and put in my place. So many spaces tried to tell me that my ideas, opinions and work were not enough. At an earlier age, I would have internalized those roadblocks and believed in the lie that I was somehow lesser than. Less worthy. Less valuable. Less effective. I’d shrink myself back in order to confirm the stories I had been told. But when I applied to graduate school, I loved psychology so much that I couldn’t let those stories keep me from my goal. I became relentless and angry as hell and sought to prove every person wrong. And almost all of them came from positions of privilege, power, and dominance. Because who would believe that a first gen, Asian woman could pursue something so outside of the box for someone with her identity. I did. And that was the only thing that kept me buoyed when few believed in my dream. So now, I stand tall. Not just for myself. But for my grandmother who only got to 3rd grade. My mother who never got to go to college because she had two older brothers. And for my daughter who has so many dreams right now that it makes my heart burst. As people of color, we will rarely get to choose how people receive us. But we always get to choose how relentless we will be regardless of their reception. I hope you are relentless with your dreams. So share with us: What is a dream that you are protecting? What is something that you hope and wish for yourself but people keep saying no? How do you remind yourself that a “no” is simply an invitation for find another way to a “yes?” Thank you for sharing. 💛