It’s been a month since my family and I said goodbye to our matriarch. I’m still wrapping my mind around it, and that is what I’m learning about grief; it is a continuum of trying to settle into the unsettled, the knowledge that living creates new memories that blur the old ones, and losing someone you’ve always known and loved means you are left holding only what you can remember. And damn if you can’t seem to remember enough, but you must while you can. Having a relationship with grandparents isn’t guaranteed, and my family was fortunate for both her health and her intention. I have a wealth of gratitude for how we were able to spend our time here together. My Grammy, Barbara Jean was an incredible soul that lived on this Earth in the flesh of a woman that I can never forget. 85 years is a gift; Her presence was timeless; it is only fair that it will take time to live with her absence. I know grief encounters all of us, but we don’t have to hurt alone, and somewhere in this heaviness, there is a sweet and kind beauty that we long for someone beyond the reach of our words. In our desire to live, with love and care, eventually we mend our losses, because we have gained in our journey, someone our soul calls friend. “Someday, I will join (her) there in the country 
Of our collective future.” — Anni Liu