Trauma *TW*⁣ ⁣ This is the first time I’ve known any trauma to be ‘good’- but it brings great sadness. The thought of my partner experiencing my panicking, lifeless body go limp as they do CPR while on the phone with a 000 operator. Firies arrive & give me 3 doses of adrenalin followed by 2 more from the paramedics as I finally take some breaths before I’m wheeled off into a resus unit.⁣ ⁣ Just imagining this whole situation wells up my eyes. My partner has been by my side for almost 11yrs & has witnessed me struggle, live & die for many of those yrs, but never had to be personally responsible for it🥺⁣ ⁣ Trauma is not new to me. I’ve experienced it my whole life (it’s taken me just as *long* to even recognise it as such) from:⁣ - generational trauma as a child of refugees⁣ - assimilation & colonist trauma to erase my identity & heritage due to relentless racism⁣ - body image trauma & EDs due to consistent comments abt my body, scars & weight⁣ - family trauma from obedience types & other violence⁣ - sexual trauma from statutory rape as a 14yo child⁣ - intimate partner violence- 1 example: being kicked pushed & punched on bitumen ground on of a hot Aussie summer’s day by someone who claimed to love me⁣ - medical gaslighting & hospital trauma. A lifetime of being dismissed, mistreated & powerless⁣ - being w/o a home, living in my car & remembering how *cold* it was as I tried to sleep along my all belongings packed into my Yaris⁣ - being thrown out of an ✈️ aisle chair, getting concussed, cracking a rib, dislocating hip & blamed for it⁣ - developing intense anxiety of flying despite traveling being a great love⁣ - regularly feeling unwelcome as I can’t enter venues or get transport from constant inaccessibility⁣ - death of loved ones⁣ - being abused (verbally, w/notes, stalkers, etc from age 16yo due to using disability parking permits as I “was too young” or “seemed too well” to have one: @ohkdarling wrote an article on this!⁣ ⁣ I’m not sure abt “what doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger” but I’m surviving. And doing my best to thrive!🎉 My ethos esp now isn’t about longevity of life but quality ❤️. Focus on the things & people that matter!⁣ ⁣ [Image IDs below]