What did you learn about expressing yourself when you were a child? ⠀ This can be a trauma-response to a childhood environment that invalidated your feelings. This made you believe that if you keep quiet, other people will be happy. This is often called “childhood emotional neglect” - when your caretakers couldn’t meet your emotional needs. ⠀ As an adult, it can show up as dysfunctional dynamics in relationships where you don’t feel like you can take space in the relationship. It is especially complicated if the other person has no idea that you feel this way. Being quiet to keep the peace comes at a price: your happiness. It can inadvertently create distance between you and your friends or partner, and leave you feeling unsatisfied or like a pushover in your relationships. ⠀ Instead turn your avoidance in action. 1️⃣Recognize when you don’t speak up at the expense of yourself. Are there any patterns? 2️⃣Take a small step towards expressing yourself. For e.g. if someone is asking you for something, instead of saying yes immediately, ask for “time to think about it” 3️⃣ Reframe expressing yourself as a “zero-sum” game to a “collaboration”. When we avoid self-expression, it’s because we’re tougher that expressing yourself is always at odds with others or happiness. But find common ground and adopt a “win-win” mentality. 4️⃣ Practice emotional regulation and how to sit with uncomfortable feelings. Check out my post on the feed on tips to do this. Follow @well.guide for more daily content on healing and self-awareness. . . #toxicfamily #toxicparents #narcissistparents #healthyboundaries #setboundaries #setboundariesforyourself #boundarysetting #healthyrelationships #relationshiptips #narcabuse #motherwound #emotionalabuse #emotionalneglect #childhoodemotionalneglect #emotionaltrauma #emotionalhealing #wellguide #narcissistmother #narcissistrecovery #settingboundaries #boundariesarehealthy #therapytools #therapytips #personaldevelopment #emotionalgrowthjourney #settingboundaries #everydayboundaries #boundariesisselfcare #recoveringpeoplepleaser #stoppeoplepleasing