Dear me before infertility: Ever since you were little, you wanted to grow up to be a mom. You will one day learn that it is not as easy as they make it seem in school, and that your journey will be different from most people you know. Your marriage and friendships will be put to the test. You will cry more than you’ve ever cried and prayed harder than you’ve ever prayed. You will do everything you can to find answers, but you may never find any. You will go through multiple infertility treatments and conquer your fear of needles after 400+ injections. You will have dark moments where you question the meaning of life and if you can keep going. But through it all, you will find love, support, and community like you never thought was possible. You will find amazing people that you can really lean on, but you have to let them in. You will strengthen your marriage to survive anything. You will one day look in the mirror and see a different person, one with battle scars but is a stronger and more resilient version of yourself. And even after being told by 3 doctors that you can’t carry a pregnancy to term, you will find the courage to try again because you know giving up was never an option. Lastly you will finally experience motherhood in all its beautiful messy glory... and it’s even better than they say it is. You will get to carry your baby to term, nurse her for 14 months, and raise her to be healthy, smart, and brave. You will experience a deep unconditional love that makes every single tear and needle worth it. And you will go through all of it again for a chance to bring home another baby. P.S. Your body is incredible, don’t you ever forget that. Love, Anna