trigger warning: weight loss & weight gain!! also long caption: these photos are 2.5 years apart. this isn’t a weight loss post to show you how i lost 20 pounds and share my transformation/ tips to lose weight. instead this is a happiness, inner-glow, and self confidence transformation— which happened to include weight gain in the process. early 2020 i was living at home, working at a restaurant and just overall miserable. i was dealing with family stuff, self image issues, lack of purpose and motivation, etc. i was constantly trying to make myself smaller with the hopes of becoming more confident and beautiful. well that surely didn’t happen. jan 2020 i was the smallest i had been in probably 4-5 years and yet the most insecure, unhealthy, and miserable i’ve have been too. i was constantly weighing myself, eating less, working out more, skipping meals, and really just wanted to feel whole again. well let me tell you: weight loss will not fill that void and happiness you’re trying to find. we need to stop chasing a number on a scale, chasing our high school jeans size, or thinking that skinny means happiness. because that’s not the case. i’m not here to tell you that being smaller is a bad thing, or losing weight is terrible. i’m just here to share my story on how i was chasing the wrong things, and found myself in a worse situation. 2.5 years later, i’m probably close to the biggest i’ve been physically and yet the happiest and most confident. i feel love, light, happiness, strength, power, peace, and i feel whole now. i have found a balance within myself and my body where i enjoy life, good company, good friends, spicy margs lol, good food, good workouts, and just overall found that inner confidence that shines bright beyond my physical size. i hope this helps one person on here, that you give your body and mind grace. to understand our bodies change all the time, and for us to release that pressure of being thin just to feel accepted and worthy. you are worthy the way you are now. never dim your light just trying to chase society’s unrealistic beauty standards and fighting to “fit in”. just be YOU. that’s what’s beautiful. ❤️ ella