one time i turned to bob and said, “i only feel like i exist when you’re looking at me.” it was shocking to hear myself say it out loud but i swear from that moment on my life has been different. i was used to hiding my codependency in shame and avoidance, thinking if i didn’t pay attention to the thoughts they might just go away. they didn’t. it took me fully owning and exposing them in a safe place to finally start healing. codependency is fueled by insecurity, and insecurity is fueled by shame. shame is usually at the root of most of my struggles, which is why i’m so into talking about things online. when there is no shame, there is no reason to hide. when i don’t hide, i reinforce the truth that i am good enough as i am. when i’m good enough as i am, there is no need to use people to feel good about myself. no need for codependency.