When people realize that the person they love isn’t quite right for them, it’s not the truth that hurts; having their illusion destroyed does. It’s common for individuals to hang on to a fixed idea of someone that exists only temporarily or is purely fictional. It’s like falling in love with an actor’s character in a movie but not the actor’s most consistent role in real life.⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ Idealization is common in relationships. We often hold on to a fantasy image of our partner rooted in their potential and our expectations. And when our rose-tinted glasses fall off and they fail to meet our expectations, we meet heart-shattering disappointment.⁣ ⁣ The idea can be nice – to commit to someone’s potential and root for their growth or change. However, often we’re not enjoying that person as they are, only as we want them to be, or in the glimpses of promise they show. And we usually want them to change so we don’t have to – so we can avoid facing our traumas, wounds and insecurities. So we can stay put and hope to feel secure in their presence. The changes we seek in others often reflect the neglected aspects of ourselves.⁣ ⁣ When they leave, they take with them our hopes and dreams. Our sanity, identity and routine. The memories and potential. Ultimately, the present becomes hard to face because so much of our time was spent glamourizing the prospect of an ideal future.⁣ ⁣ Relinquishing illusions and expectations is key to moving on and breaking unhealthy attachments or deepening your connection to someone if you choose to stay with them. It allows us to experience the reality of who someone is and what our relationships are or were. While painful, healing can only happen if we allow ourselves to let go.⁣ ⁣ The purest and deepest love is full of acceptance, not expectation. But often, instead of falling for who they are now, we live in anticipation of who they might become – continuously meeting disappointment and suffering because of our imagination.⁣ ⁣⁣ #VexKing