As a fertility doctor, I often treat couples, not individuals. This can be complicated as everyone deals with infertility diagnosis and treatment and the stress that comes with it all, differently. In cases where there are no clear causes (unexplained) or is likely egg quality related, the partner may feel a sense of helplessness and guilt over the majority of the burden of testing and treatment falling on the partner undergoing treatment cycles. They may feel out of the loop. The partner undergoing treatments may feel it is unfair how little their partner has to do. In cases of male factor infertility, there can be lots of shame and stigma. Men with infertility often are less open with their partner about the emotional struggle. Whatever the dynamic, it can be hard to know how to support a partner and what not to say. Here is a quick list of my tips 💜: 1. Show up- make a point of being part of as many consults/conversations with the doctor 2. NEVER blame infertility/miscarriage on what someone did/didn’t do/eat/drink or on how stressed they are. This is NEVER helpful. 3. Be open to talking to a counselor/therapist. Even if you are feeling strong and able to cope- your partner may need the outside support and perspective. Encourage them to do so both with you and separately. 4. Decide ahead of time who you plan to share your treatment journey with and how much you will disclose. Have a united front on this and respect your partner’s wishes for privacy. 5. TALK. Schedule time to speak about how treatment is going and making each other feel. ✨Communication can solve many problems before they actually take root and turn into a bigger conflict. Treatment is more like a marathon than a sprint - and made much easier if you are aligned and on the same team 💜💜 #fertility #ttc #ttcjourney #couplestherapy #mentalhealth #infertility #ivf #iui #maleinfertility