Every summer I get anxiety over the fact I'm not skinny. Always have done, even when I was v thin. The thought of having my skin out, and wearing things that clung to my body was panic inducing. I chose not to go on any sunny holidays for years. I'm on a real journey with my body and how I feel about it. I sometimes hate the fact that I'm not positive about it. Makes me feel like I'm a bad feminist. Before I got ill I used to walk 5 miles a day and do 3 weights classes a week and I still fucking dreaded summer. This summer for some unknown reason I seem a bit calmer, I don't know why?? I've been on a sunny holiday and I'm about to go on another! And I'm wearing whatever I want in this heat and although sometimes I catch my reflection in things and don't LOVE it I also don't absolutely hate myself which I think is progress. Your relationship with your body can often being a confusing one, I think just taking each day at a time and analysing how you feel gives you some control over your thoughts. Fuck you thoughts.