Mental health is a very important topic that I feel isn’t talked about as much as we need to. In our community we are told not to talk to our teachers or counselors about anything because of the fear of CPS taking us. So at a early age we hide our emotions and don’t seek out help. I myself had a experience with the mental health system. When I was about 12 I was checked into a mental health facility for a while. I’ve been in strapped to a bed and fed with cameras watching me. I spent years running and pretending “it’s all good” but I was in my 30s and realizing it wasn’t. It wasn’t until I moved to Dallas I decided to go through therapy. First step to therapy is to be honest with yourself and face yourself. When I confessed to how angry and embarrassed I was about the things I couldn’t control my therapist showed me that it wasn’t my fault and I couldn’t control things that I’ve dealt with because I just wasn’t physically strong enough or mentally old enough. When I started painting I found myself expressing my inner self that was super bright and expressive. I noticed I still wasn’t fully facing myself because I still couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. When I first attempted to paint myself in 2019 I knew I was getting to a point where I started to forgive myself. Since then I’ve been able to forgive myself and learned how to be gentle with myself which made me gentle with others. Painting myself is a emotional process because I’m being able to shape who I am. I’m able to add my cheeks, my nose my eyes and my lips. I’m able to find a soothing place within myself. Looking for a place of comfort in self is a beautiful thing. It don’t mean you don’t find peace with others, it’s just you are fully comfortable with who you became. Chasing the bottle, drugs, money or p**** don’t make you a man. Being at a place where you can be gentle and honest with yourself and others is key to happiness to me. When that demon come tell ‘em to f*** off you got shit to do. Long story short check on your friends if you got your mental health in check. Make sure they’re not smiling, dancing, singing, painting or shooting a basketball to hide their pain. #jholmes214