New York does this thing where it likes to chew me up and spit me out. Or at least, it feels that way, especially as I leave summer and drop into cozy fall. Ok so hear me out... Lately, I feel like I’m often the worst version of myself when I’m in NYC. I feel so good when I leave this place, and coming back can feel hard even while my life here is rich and beautiful. People ask, “Is New York forever for you?” They assume it’s my perfect fit, but my answer is usually “how the hell would I know - there is a lot of life yet to live” I’ve been spiraling in self-judgment, but I get to talk it out in therapy, hear affirming words from my mom, and cry with my best friend on FaceTime. I GET to be a work in progress, to wake up and try my best. The other night, I looked back at my summer photos with one question: How did Emily feel this summer? And honestly, it was one of my favorite summers yet, even as I navigated the busiest season at work, unlearned some toxic caretaking patterns, and battled body insecurities. So here U GO — as a way of exposure therapy and affirming myself, here are pictures of JUST ME LOL from moments of joy this summer in NYC. Looking at these pictures, I remind myself, “heck gorl u r cute, u alright”. My heart was happy, my body was present, and in these moments, I felt like me. I can feel good here. NYC isn’t always hard. I don’t have to escape. I can be uncomfortable and still feel good; I can be cute and still be sad. It’s that duality. Ok so I’m still thinking about summer bc where did time go but here we go, winter. I’m mostly ready for what this season brings. I welcome: love, intimacy, hard work, growth, darkness/light, and unique experiences. What are you welcoming? ❤️