Im pretty open about my ED recovery because. I never want anyone else to go through or feel what I did. I was lost in wanting to be lean and compete in bikini shows, but also indulge in my favorite foods. This was back in the time of chicken and rice all day every day, or tilapia and asparagus. 🤮 There was no balance. I would eat super strict all week, and restrict everything. Only to binge on the weekends, never quite finding balance in my choices. If I were to tell myself just one thing back when I was 19, is "You can do it all" You can have the cookie, the chicken, the vegetables, the pasta. And you can exercise at a normal rate of 4x a week and not every single day till you want to puke. Fast foward to today, while I am a completely different person, I wouldnt be who I am without the low parts in my life and learning from my mistakes. The one thing that helped me the most, was learning about my food choices and associating a number to how I felt. And to no ones surprise but my own, as the number went up, the better I felt. ✨I was able to stop labeling foods as good and bad ✨I was eating proper portion sizes ✨I was training less and making more progress ✨I WAS HAPPIER I didn't fear going out to eat, or plan my life around it. If it came up, YAY, I went out. Learning about food, whether it was macros or portion sizes, gave me that freedom. And now I teach that freedom to other people, in whatever way suits them best, because everyone is different.