Failing in believing is believing in failing. That was the hardest effort I have ever put into a race. It wasn’t my best performance on paper but it was my best performance in character. I could tell on the first climb up Bulldog my body was not my usual body. It felt achy, sore, sluggish, nauseous, not my own. Once at the top, I thought to myself “I just need to get finished with first lap and then I can stop and drop to the 25k”. Once there, @blindhund was hitting the BELIEVE sign for me, pushing me to start the next lap as he gathered my water and fuel to leave the aid station. I whimpered and cried out loud an embarrassing amount of times, when suddenly I was found by my FIL, Papa Smith. He told me the truth of how I looked pale and not too hot but that I just needed to get up the climb, hitting the BELIEVE sign for me again. Finally at the top of Bulldog for the second time, @tweissauer cheered and shouted me to inspiration to keep shuffling along. She hit the BELIEVE sign for me. All along the course, volunteers, fellow racers, and total strangers supported me and hit that damn BELIEVE sign. Once I crossed the finish line, I felt like I needed to cry- out of frustration, out of gratitude, out of pain, out of love. I dropped into my husband Gavin’s lap and laid on the ground with him for a solid amount of time. F2 was fought for hard this time. I love this community. Thank you to all of the volunteers, the photographers, , @socaltrail , my coach, my family 🫶🏼