Photos from 4 days post-op top surgery ❤️‍🩹 I want to talk abt something negative I've been feeling during top surgery recovery. Because 99% of what I see about the medical transitioning journey on social media is all positivity and a celebration. And yes it's important to celebrate our successes. But only showing the good parts is so misleading when you expect the process to be easy and all smiles when it actually can be really hard. I wanted to step into this journey with no expectations of what my chest would look like post-op, therefore I wouldn't be disappointed if it's not what I envisioned. But of course, with experiencing gender dysphoria and gender envy, I've already had a perfect vision of what I want my body to be. Expecting myself to have no expectations was just something not true and not possible; I didn't realize that until last night. I haven't seen my chest yet. I take my bandages off tomorrow and will see my chest then. I'll be 9 days post-op tomorrow. I'm very nervous. I'm scared that it's not going to be what I want it to be. I'm worried about it not looking like the vision that I have in mind. A loved one helped me realize: I'm never going to be "perfect.” "Perfect" cannot be reached. It is the reach for it that matters, that means something. To reach for perfection and still be happy for what you've accomplished even though it's not perfection. To realize that it's not going to be the perfect outcome, but it still a long ways better than before. To be proud of myself for striving so hard and so fast to achieve my goals and to do what I want to do. I am so blessed for my ability to do what I do. It's good to be hard on yourself but it's not good to torture yourself over shortcomings of not being "perfect" when perfect can never be reached. I also have to realize that I am currently 8 days out of the operating room and I am far from healed. I'm still bloody. It still looks like a wound. Healing is a long process and I have to give myself the chance to do that. This journey is forcing me to learn true patience, and that life and how you feel about life is all about perspective. And for that I am grateful.