One year ago today I sat down in the jungles of Costa Rica for my first of four Ayahuasca ceremonies. After drinking the sludgy sweet brew the last candle is extinguished and it’s just you, the medicine, the unknown and man oh man the damned darkness. It was in the pitch black I met my demons face to face. And we sure had a lot to talk about. I understood immediately what I had ingested had a profound intelligence and wisdom unlike any other psychedelic. Ayahuasca has the power to gently tease out all the unresolved trauma and pain of our past. It unearths what’s buried, opens doors we’ve locked and reveals the beauty we often fail to see. It’s confrontational yet gentle and the greatest meditation in gratitude and forgiveness I’ve experienced thus far. There were moments of absolute anguish on my mat battling anxiety, purging endlessly into a bucket yet equal moments of pure joy and freedom. It’s a tug of war between what we don’t want to see and bearing witness to the most extravagant interdimensional sights imaginable. But facing your shadows is hard work and not for the faint of heart. What’s most beautiful is embarking on this journey with twenty strangers who are brave and vulnerable enough to sit together for 8 hours in their physical, emotional and psychic turmoil. It’s incredibly inspiring to witness such courage. My deepest thanks goes to @alicemay_1 for her friendship, love and generosity. The maestro and maestra who conduct the ceremony with the haunting and healing song of the icaros is music I will never forget. And the support and wisdom of the facilitators @soltarahealingcenter made us feel safe and free to share our stories. I will be back to excavate myself further so I can continue to shift my perspective, evolve spiritually and be better for those I care about in my life. But mostly for myself, whom I finally see the value in loving. It’s pointless to go on feeling anything less. I’m a work in progress, we all are, so please be kind to yourself in this life. And if you choose to stare into the abyss, not only will it stare back but it may just reach out and hold your hand. ❤️🌿🐍