THANK YOU @thejeffawards I had quit musical theatre. I did a couple tours, and got to bow on Broadway. So “Great, I’m out” I thought. It was growing less and less intelligent - saying less. It wasn’t a place for the brave anymore but the pretty who could affect their face and voice. Time to go somewhere else where I could tell the truth. Then I got an email asking about interest in An American In Paris. I had no plans on moving back to Chicago or doing a musical again. My mom and my sister told me I should do it - “you don’t have to dance” they insisted. So what the hell? I was having panic attacks thinking about starting rehearsal. “Can I still do this?” “Will I have to be fake?” I walked into the rehearsal room and immediately was overcome with a sense of belonging. I watched the ballet in tears reminded how beautiful dance could be. I’ll never forget, after we finished working a scene, the look Lynne gave me. She “saw” me. She smiled, she knew. I was in the right place. I was safe. Like she was telling me calmly, “I give you permission to be fully you.” The last time I saw that look was Rachel Rockwell. Those eyes I miss so, so very much. The reason I was brought to Chicago. The reason I stayed in Chicago. I often thought of Rachel when we sang “the way she changed my life...” in You Can’t Take That Away From Me at the end of the show. Thank you, Rachel. God, I miss you. There was a lesson God was teaching me through this show. There will always be “new loves found” just when you’re about to give up. Hold out. Don’t give up on them or yourself. I learned Musical Theatre can still be intelligent, can say something, can have substance. An American In Paris says there is a force that we can’t touch or get our fingers on that will sustain us through suffering. Beauty transcends any shit the world can throw at us. Every damn time. And I believe now more than ever we need artists, the brave ones, to look at the real pain and remind a hurting world of the possibility of a more beautiful future. This is our task. To Sam, Jim, Kyle, Matt, Jess, our ensemble, our crew @thejoshdrake @willskrip @leighesty THANK YOU