Morning reflection: Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about all the things I’ve had to do to get here. I feel proud of my self and kind of at peace with my place in the world. My whole life my real true mission has been to make my mom proud and give her everything beautiful the earth has to offer. This mission has kept me focused since I moved out at 19. As I get older and achieve more goals and get more accolades and see more triumph in my story I am also realizing I need to do this for me now. My obsession with satisfying other peoples wants is dissipating as I realize I’ll never be the dream oldest daughter. I realized I could give them all gold, love, and glory and it would never be enough if I don’t bare my own children and convert to conservative religion. At first I thought A good career and life would be enough to satisfy them but it isn’t. I’m not willing to do the things they want me to and I’ll have to die knowing I never was who my family wanted me to be, and I have to learn to be okay with that. This post is kinda sad in ways but it’s healing in others because I’m shedding this oldest immigrant daughter weight and accepting my self more. They’ll all read this today and write nice things on what’s app and tomorrow beg me to stop being my self and go practice being conservative, and this is the loop my family life plays. I love me. Like I really really love me, and I feel blessed every single day I get to breath. I hope everyone finds their peace and feels as blessed as we all should. May you rid your self of the burden of other peoples desires and lean into your own💜