this isn’t the most comfortable or “normal” post for me. and no it’s not mental health month, just wanted to share my story. this past may I was diagnosed with generalized and panic anxiety disorder, something that isn’t a new thing. it’s a problem i have been struggling with since 5 years old. but what options are there when you are 5? meds that can dim your entire personality? i didn’t need that. I have always been known as the girl that is always happy and smiling. but most the time it’s a front i put up with so no one knows the true struggle of my day. this year everything seemed to worsen. burdened with a medical condition no doctor can figure out, or tell me what to expect. On top of that, i was out of the sport that gave me clarity. i had no place to let go of this anxiety. nothing was as bad until january. I was going through friendship breakups on top of some of the most mentally abusive programs in my life. letting myself slip into the deepest depression, i stopped talking with all my friends, i had mental breakdowns every class. completely zoning out of life, just go through the motions.after being noticed by everyone i got the help much needed. i decided i needed to start fixing myself, and the most important relationships to me. Thank you to the people that didn’t judge me in my worst. Thank you to the friendships i had that kept me on this world. you don’t understand how much it truly means to me to have those people. And by saying this i am not saying i am perfect now, i struggle everyday with the darkness of mental instability. but just know you aren’t alone. also saying be nice to people you never know what they are hiding behind their masks.