Growing up I hated my own guts! I lied about my age; my name, my nationality. I even made up a fake last name on the back of my soccer jersey when I was 11 because I was totally ashamed of myself. My first drink was a whole bottle of vodka from my family home that I later filled up with water and would eventually get sprung. When I found drugs I’d spend my whole apprentice wage on a bag of coke with nothing left for the rest of the week because that’s a really responsible thing to do, y’know? I’d be that addict that would spend her last 10 dollars on a drink than a cab ride home. I’d be that “girl” that got banned from the club for overdosing. The one that just wanted to keep the party going because she dreaded the loneliness and self hatred that came when everyone left. Being that girl lead to homelessness, hospitalisations, overdoses, psychosis, insanity. And the craziest part about all my actions is I still didn’t think I was an addict. The hardest thing about being 10 years clean is that I am a fast forgetter. It’s milestones, honest truths and reflections like this that remind me how far that 20 year old girl has come. I’m now 30 and have worked incredibly hard to get to a space where I genuinely love who I am, including my sensitivity. I woke up this morning balling my eyes out in sheer gratitude that somehow I am one of the lucky ones that got to choose another way to live. I share my message today to break the stigma from addiction. I wasn’t a bad person, I was a young girl desperate for love. Little did I know that it had to come from within. I’m grateful to all the people that have held my hand on the journey and loved me before I could love myself. I O U X #10yearsclean #sobrietyissexy #sobrietyjourney #recoveryispossible #recoveryjourney #recoveryrocks #overdoseawareness #miracleshappen #miraclesdohappen #miracleshappen #magicmoments #strengthinnumbers #couragetochange #courageous #community #dirty30