Pregnancy loss. Two words I never imagined would be mine. The emotional and physical pain of the last two weeks has been immense, and yet it came at a time when we are reminded to focus on what we are thankful for. It was our first month trying to conceive baby #2 and the happy shock and surprise at those two pink lines was quickly washed away in a wave of blood tests, ultrasounds and an ER visit, all confirming that it was an ectopic pregnancy that never had a chance of survival. I’ve cried out to God countless times since this began, WHY? Why did our precious poppyseed-sized embryo implant in the wrong place? Why did we even get pregnant if it was going to end this way? Why did this happen to us? Yet in the deepest moments of grief, I still have joy... joy in our sweet Teddy, joy in the strength of my marriage, joy in our family and friends who have been walking alongside us, and joy in God and his goodness. My body failed because we live in a broken world. But God did not fail. He has a plan and a purpose for this pain. Our precious poppyseed, I loved you the instant those two pink lines appeared. I find comfort knowing you’re in heaven with Jesus and I cling to the confident hope that can only be found in Him. Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Philippians 4:5-7
The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.