Aquarius ~ As the sun set on my thirties this week, I thought about how I felt at twenty-nine vs thirty-nine, and how much dread I felt becoming thirty, and how much relief I felt becoming forty. ▫️ At twenty-nine, I was high on peak career goals, boastful of surviving on 4hrs sleep per night, thriving on the hustle, as what we now call ‘toxic productivity’ was destroying my mental well-being and taking my soul with it. All my value was tied to my work, my output, and what I had yet to achieve - for me, that was the thing I couldn’t just work 20hrs a day to win at: a family. ▫️ Today, I pride myself on being in bed at 10pm. I try to be a good role model or ear for those climbing the career ladder (albeit with far too much swearing), and do my best to show up for my friends in a way I never did a decade ago. I give my time to my spiritual community, and find so much joy in seeing those around me finding some peace amongst the chaos, as they grow further into themselves. ▫️ It feels like a weight has lifted, and so I think about the greatest gift I never knew I needed that came to me during the darkest moments of my thirties. That gift was Certainty. Whether you have some kind of faith, or not, if there is only one thing to be certain of, it is you. Be certain of your resilience, your strength, your beauty, your soul, and be certain that you already have whatever it is you’re looking for, within. It’s in there somewhere. Hiding. Traumatized. Scared. Or maybe just needing a little encouragement to bloom. Sometimes we just have to cultivate it, to earn the solution we seek. ▫️ Everyone of you inspires me in some way to keep cultivating myself, to keep pushing myself, and to keep revealing more of myself, to me. I get it wrong. I disappoint myself. I judge myself. But then I remember that thing I can’t unlearn, the thing that puts all the chaos back into place, and I am certain, again. ▫️ Thank you for the messages this week. I honestly had the loveliest birthday of my life. Thank you. 〰️ Swipe to see editorial pandemic mask-chic one second before, and one second after shots ;) 🤍