“These nights used to be so hard for me. There was so much that needed to get done. I needed to be able to do things like I had before. A child shouldn’t change that. But they do, and it does. Everything changes. Your baseline drops, but not because everything is failing. But because you need to make MORE space for this. THEY were never a burden, the less time I had to do the things, that felt like the burden. But then something switched (almost 2.5 years into motherhood). I finally recognized what a blessing it is that my body, simply my presence is what calms them. It’s what makes them feels safe, calm and secure. Where else in the world do I need to be? Both a million other places and absolutely nowhere but here. So I asked myself, what is my biggest priority? And the answer was them. There’s a lot of talk about finding yourself, not mom self, not wife self but YOU. And maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but that IS ME. Mom self IS me, Wife self IS ME. I’ve changed. I never wanted to be just a mom, or to be the leader of the household. That felt like a trap. But once I realized what a gift those roles are, and how they’re both temporary and desperately needed, they felt liberating. I’ve found it’s all up to me. Is this life a burden that I need to manage or a gift I need to bask in? I still may cry in frustration or overwhelm, and in a few years things will likely change again. But for now, I choose to see the blessing. And that has made all the difference.” #repost @heyshayla 💕 #motherhood . .