i look for signs everywhere. i feel him all around me. i quiet my mind just enough to hear his laugh. i ask myself what he would say to me today, in the hard moments that only he would know how to guide me through. two years without him. missing someone so deeply is such a heavy weight to carry around. a few days after mike passed away in 2022, a beautiful, huge wise looking red tailed hawk visited me on the fire escape of my building. it sat there for hours in the same spot, looking so calm and bringing me immense comfort. it came everyday in those early dark days of shock and grief. and then it disappeared. i searched for it everyday but it was nowhere to be found. it never came back to visit me. until the two year anniversary, when my mom and i were taking a walk in Central Park. all of a sudden, i looked over and saw it in the grass. i quickly took a photo just as it was taking flight. before it was gone, i pointed it out to my mom and we both knew. they say that grief is the price we pay for love. it is my privilege and my honor to carry this love, this grief around for the rest of my life. i have mentioned many times about the Leonard Cohen quote Mike had at the bottom of his email. but then i remembered he also had another quote on each email he sent. when i read it today it amazed me how perfectly it captured what I’m feeling. it’s like he knew i needed to read these exact words. When you don't know where you are going, at least you can know where you have come from Mitzva'. Alain Elkann