I received a DM the other day scolding me for working out and teaching fitness the day after loss. Sadly, this is not the first time someone has written to me telling me that I’m not grieving to their standards. ⠀ A very powerful thing I’ve learned through grief is what I need to do for myself to release the pain- what helps me to process the trauma so it doesn’t stay stuck. One thing I do is workout and the other @dancingwiththestars really helped me realize, dance. Dancing every day during that show released stored pain that I didn’t even know I still had in my body. ⠀ On Saturday, the day after losing my mother-in-law, I signed up for this dance class because I knew I needed to dance. I’d heard about this class for years, but was slightly terrified to go because it’s a style of dance that is way out of my comfort zone. It was an hour away and a monsoon outside, I almost chickened out, but I went. ⠀ What happened was unforgettable. I allowed myself to completely let go. I put every emotion I had in me into each step- the sadness from loss, the build up from weeks before, the ptsd I was experiencing, the shock, the heaviness and weight of trauma. I took all of it and danced it out in front of a group of people I didn’t know. I didn’t look in the mirror. I didn’t judge myself. I just danced. It was one of the most cathartic experiences I’ve ever had. I got home and felt like a completely different person- lighter in my head, heart and body and filled with new energy and light. ⠀ The moral of this story is two things. The first.... DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU HOW TO GRIEVE! Do not let anyone’s judgements get in the way of how YOU heal. They will never know or be able to understand an ounce of the weight you carry with you every single day. ⠀ The second... GET TO KNOW YOURSELF! What do you need? What makes you feel better? Then DO THOSE THINGS AND DONT LOOK BACK OR AROUND. YOU GO FORWARD! ⠀ **my friend recorded this to remember the song and combination and then saw that I was dancing in the clip and sent it to me. It’s a bit “Where’s Waldo” to find me, but I’m in a gray sweatshirt and black sweatpants dancing my heart out.