i’m not going to make this quick... & you can continue scrolling if you’d like - as we always do & i am guilty of - but forget the gain in the simple treasures in life that have been lost such as reading - i digress on that... returning to my point - i was sitting on the plane (after a rough experience at the airport) & thought - “at the end of the day all i truly have is myself & God” - & then i thought about my mom, but one day she won’t be here either - the thought of my lonesome angered me initially because i was thinking about it in connection to a goal of mine - to gain followers & ultimately get noticed by an agency now let me be very clear that i am not undermining the loads of people that support me & are there for me in real time & i am grateful for and deeply love them though, the only person that has been there through EVERY struggle, negative thought, break down, pain, moment of joy, laughter, & triumph is me & God sometimes on these apps i feel like i’m losing myself - putting so much effort to make sure that my pictures are good, my posts are engaging, that i’m pleasing my audience... but the reality is that people with millions of followers & massive platforms are killing themselves, depressed, performing, hurting just like the person with 6,000 followers or 200 or 2 & with these thoughts came a follow up thought - your goals are important, however “And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” Mark 8:36 - now whether you are religious or not the question is still valid - what are you willing to do & put yourself through to the point where you don’t have enough of a grip on your own soul & who you are? from that moment i really wanted to vow to myself - love, appreciate, & constantly acknowledge those that ARE there for you (especially those who are consistent in checking on you) & KNOW that they are also temporary - they will pass, you will pass, they will disappoint you, they won’t always be there in every moment to hold your hand or bring you comfort...(continued in the comments)