Your spouse is not a project and it’s not your job to “fix” them. We were major “fixers” in the beginning of our relationship. We thought we were helping each other but we were actually just trying to control each other. It’s such a common mistake because we all want to help our spouse, however, impatience can kick in and we often go about it in hurtful ways that can push the other person away or make them feel like a project or a burden. Nagging is a common theme in a lot of marriages and the “fixer” attitude can definitely contribute to this. It may sound like a no brainer but one thing we changed was simply thinking before we speak to each other. It’s easy to get in the habit of saying whatever comes to your mind to your spouse but having a healthy filter is necessary and loving. A critical attitude and saying critical things is such an intimacy killer and giving your spouse room to learn and make mistakes is part of the journey. The classic “motherly, naggy wife” and “juvenile, clueless husband” scenario is commonly joked about because it’s become such a toxic dynamic for so many couples. We have been there and we have had seasons where I was trying to mother Daniel and he was prone to having a critical tone. It didn’t feel good so we learned how to communicate in a new way that involves both of us letting go of control and coming together with a new desire to embrace who the other person is instead of fixating on our differences. When we feel those old tendencies come up, we pray with and for each other and do our best to trust God with the other person’s growth. It takes time but it’s possible to completely change the dynamic of your marriage. It’s worth it to have the hard conversations, we aren’t suggesting brushing anything under the rug. It’s all about clear, honest communication while leaving room for your spouse to develop and grow on their own timeline that God has them on. It’s about enjoying the person you are with right now while being excited to watch their personal journey unfold. 🤍 #healthymarriage #healthyrelationship #beating50percent #marriedcouple #christianmarriage #christiancouple #marriageadvice