Sometimes I feel really good in my body and most of the time I don’t. I experience gender dysphoria on a daily basis and for 15 years of my life have dissociated from certain parts of my body that I feel alienate me. Yesterday I made the decision to book my top surgery initial assessment and this morning I woke up feeling so much lighter and free, just even knowing that i’d taken action towards helping myself relieved me of so much weight on my shoulders. I want to be more vulnerable and honest about my issues surrounding identity, gender and mental health and I want to encourage this in other people too. I sometimes feel like i’m hiding a huge secret and it feels overwhelming. Usually my work offers me therapy, in creating characters I can escape and explore narratives and multiple bodies that free me from the bondage of the flesh that I humanly inhabit. Sometimes I can barely look at myself because I feel crushed by the fact that I have been living so long in a body that I barely recognise. Gender dysphoria can sometimes manifest into eating disorders and other issues in order to escape. Eating less isn’t going to make me less ‘feminine’ and controlling food only gives the illusion of control in general life. It takes alot to address issues that you’ve buried for a long time but I know it’s going to feel so good when its done. 🤍🤍🤍🤍