I have moved around the last couple of days with a little sadness. I’m not used to it since finding so much joy and purpose again. Its an old program that runs of “I’m not good enough” (in this case I’m not a good enough mother), and my brain was super helpful 🙄 in finding sooo many examples to support this bs outdated belief. As I breathe life into my career again, and have fire 🔥 back in my bones and big huge brave dreams, there’s this part of me wondering “how will this affect my babies??”. For better or worse, I’ve been home with them, doing almost every bedtime bath, and song and snuggle (with my amazing husband’s support) for the past 3 years. But i can feel as this album starts to take shape, and as i leave the baby making and nesting part of my life in the past how many hard choices I’ll have to make. Last night i walked in the 90 degree Valley quiet and cried and felt how both excited about this music and also how worried I can be all at the same time. I finally called my mom and she remembered that these girls chose me as their mama. They knew what they were getting into. And I’m going to have to take this moment by moment. I don’t have any big answer or solution, but just recognizing it and allowing myself to feel and cry was enough for now. I hope whatever you’re moving through you’re doing with grace and patience and allowing it to come and be seen and witnessed. It’s all we can do. xoxo