I’m sitting in bed still, remembering what i went though this past year and rather than write it in my journal i felt called to share it, in case anyone is suffering and needs to hear how it is possible to reclaim your peace and joy. Last year, on my 40th birthday, i hadn’t slept well the night before and woke up 7 months pregnant, with fear and heaviness, surrounded by loved ones but still, so lonely. I must have somehow known what the year ahead held. I gave birth to my beautiful Sophie Jo in my bedroom on my own, but after that triumph I battled with my mental health and walked through hell. It wasn’t until I finally fell to my knees and surrendered and admitted, i can’t control this, i need help, that the tides turned. Then, slowly, with every bit of strength, and all the tools and support i could find, i climbed out. I started on antidepressants, something i NEVER thought I’d do because of old bullshit fear ideas about western medicine and healing myself naturally, (but god bless Zoloft). I read and learned and cried and dove deep into old trauma, i learned about boundaries, i learned how to trust in the divine and surrender, i learned how to manifest again, and believe before i see, and little by little, i found myself. So today, on my 41stq birthday, i can honestly say that i have NEVER loved life or myself more. I am in awe of the woman that i have become. I have written the best music of my life, I have two incredible daughters, I am married to the love of my life, my sister and i are best friends and closer than ever, i have incredible friends and an amazing therapist and healthy, wonderful parents and i have more support than i ever thought possible. And i have my own inner peace, and real self love. None of what makes me truly happy now on the deepest level comes from what I achieve or what i do or how I’m perceived or how I look anymore. I know that all of that could fall away (and it did!) and I’d still have my light and my purpose. And so on my first day of my 41st year, i can honestly say I’ve never been happier. I am ready for all of the joy that the universe wants to shower us with. I LOVE YOU FRIENDS.