Happy Intl Women’s Day <3 With @adelleodelia inviting me to join this year’s campaign, I unearthed a little memory that I would like to share. During a particularly vulnerable time years ago, I was described as “bekas” (used, second-hand) by someone whose opinion I put on a pedestal. At the time, difficult conversations weren't commonplace on social media and I didn’t really have the resources to deal with such a comment. I internalised it and took the meaning of that word to heart. But I was lucky; I had wise friends who had my back, and in the community I’ve built since, I've done more unlearning than learning & feel liberated to know that my worth has everything to do with me, and NOTHING to do with what anyone else thinks. And this kind of language used to devalue women has everything to do with those who use it, and nothing to do with those on the receiving end. I know that this person learned it from someone else, who learned it from someone else and so on. This harmful language still coats the tongues of even our closest friends & family. And it’s hard to talk about this stuff because I’m still quite embarrassed honestly! I’m embarrassed that I ever thought it was ok and that it still fuels the chitchat of Indonesian folks. But through incredible conversations with friends, I've also learned that you can be proud of your heritage, where you're from, where your roots lie, while acknowledging the path it has to take in burying its harmful habits. Because if you really do love your culture and your community enough, you'll want to better it, and you'll want to see it grow to be kinder to everyone who calls it home. So when you hear a friend saying something inappropriate and damaging, tell them it’s not ok!! And if you’re ever confronted about your behaviour, recognize that it is a product of your upbringing and take advantage of the amazing human trait that is SELF-BETTERMENT! God knows we’ve all thought/said/done something damaging bc of what we’re conditioned to believe... And if you've been / are ever on the receiving end, know damn well that no one but you can tell you you’re worth it. And you always are. #KamuBerhargaRG