I was not kind to Eric the summer I was pregnant with Franklin. I was so immersed in my own struggle, I did not have the patience and compassion for his. There were months it was easier to not communicate; I sent updates on the baby and even that felt generous. He lived 1500 miles away, I hadn’t seen him in five months, and I was that same amount pregnant when he stopped by my house a day he was in town. I’ll never forget the way it felt to open the door and see him standing there. It was like everything I had been too afraid to feel came flooding out at once while I collapsed into him. Fear, frustration, excitement, exhaustion... he was the only person in the world who could understand and there he was, with a steadiness that felt familiar. That same steadiness is what felt so safe just months before while I fell hopelessly in love with him and it soothed a part of my soul I didn’t even know was aching. Six years later when our third son was admitted into the PICU, Eric was away on a work trip and it nearly took all my strength from me. Trying to advocate for him while I was afraid of making all the wrong decisions and missing my bigger boys at home... It had been a long week and they had just run a new test on Harrison that revealed he needed a blood transfusion. My boys don’t have my blood, they have their dads; so I stood there helpless and begged the drs to wait just a little longer while Eric boarded a flight home. It was the same feeling, when he walked through the door that night; the same emotional collapse, the same hot tears- I was safe with him, we both were. He picked that little boy up, tangled with tubes and looked him in the eyes while a giggle gurgled out and I remembered all over again how much I needed him while I pressed record. Parenthood is such a gift. It became a solid foundation for Eric and I as we rebuilt a new relationship and respect for each other as we welcomed our first son; hard earned but worth it then and every day since. I’m grateful to have something so worth fighting for and for the moments that encourage the fight because those are ones that remind me there is more and that we are better together.