Being constantly picked apart online, I kind of got used to it in the last couple of years. Often desensitized. Or I mask it with sarcasm and jokes. That’s the reality. I have accepted that this is going to be my life until I am gone. I know someone will say, “Well, you are on social media and chose to be visible and open about your identity” as if every influencer who is on social media experience the same type of constant abuse for sharing parts of themselves and their lives. Or l’ll hear, “get off social media” when my livelihood LITERALLY depends on it. As if I am not allowed to use the internet just like everyone else. My wish upon a star before the end of the year is to just have one day where someone doesn’t call me a man, require me to explain my existence or tell me to go “unalive” myself. I wish these words didn’t stick. But, they do. I am only human. Although, often people’s treatment of me makes me feel otherwise. So after dealing with this all day, when I do see people that are supposed to be “close” to me to find peace, comfort, and safety, I am also met with “jokes” that poke at me, comments that make me feel uncomfortable about my body and who I am without an understanding of how much strength it takes to even step outside of my home and exist as “me” - the world starts to feel like it’s closing in. I start to close in. And, then I’ve to meet people with “grace” or rationalize their behaviour as they “don’t know better” or didn’t mean it or I am sensitive “triggered by trauma”. I am exhausted. I know I’ve said this before but I going to say this again. Trans people needs are beyond “love” and “acceptance” at this point. We need interest, understanding, compassion, respect, kindness, safety and comfort, especially around family and friends. Learn to have boundaries with people in your life - you shouldn’t have to be constantly traumatized both online and offline. Also, hi!🙋🏽‍♀️ I missed you all. . . .