I had so many of you message me about my little body positivity story. It made my day. And made me want to tell you all more. Because I know we all have such complex stories about ourselves and how we accept or don’t accept our own unique beauty. Like I said in my story slide, I’ve literally been on some sort of self induced diet since I was 9-10 years old. For no reason other than I didn’t look like the people *I* thought were beautiful. I started off YOUNG. Wanting to be anyone other than me. I didn’t want to be me. When I was 11, I was sexually assaulted by a much older man outside of my home. I was removed immediately from the situation but the scars remained for years. I wanted to hide. I did everything I could to be invisible to men which resulted in eating disorders and a lot of self loathing. Something that hasn’t left me completely but I show up and do the conscious work I need to do to be aware of my patterns, subconscious thoughts, and toxic actions when it comes to it. I avoid photos of myself that I don’t control (angle, lighting, etc) because despite being 35 and much more mentally aware and practical, there’s still a piece of me that feels deep discomfort in my own skin at times. As a woman, not a day goes by that my physical appearance isn’t in my top 3 thoughts for the day. And I know I’m not alone. I know this is extremely common. Especially in the days of Facetune, Instagram, Photoshop, and celebrities doing the absolute most to change themselves too because they have an audience of thousands to millions who pick them apart. I chose to showcase my eyes (or one eye) because putting me in my entirety out there to hundreds of thousands or more was always too scary. I sat on the edge of my bed to get ready to run errands today and looked over in the mirror and thought, “You know what? I look good.” I have strong, long legs, a soft body to hug, curves to embrace, and I am who I’m supposed to be. Being strong and fit and comfortable has always been my goal so I will always work in that direction. But perfection? Fuck it. 🖤