It’s taken a lot of energy for me to function the last few days. I haven’t felt like myself, and to be honest I’ve barely even felt like a real human being. Instead I feel nothing, and I’d rather be angry or sad then feel nothing at all. I chose to sing for a living, but for the first time in my life I’ve been completely burnt out. I sit and stare at walls for hours during times where I used to have motivation to sing and write music. Without really noticing it, singing has started to feel like a chore instead of something that I want to do and feel pleasure doing. About an hour ago, after a major meltdown, was the second time in almost three weeks where I have chosen to sing on my own. It’s not flashy and it doesn’t show off my range. It wasn’t prepared or belted or acted out like almost everything else I sing is. It’s just a song I like that makes me feel something other than numb. I’m proud of myself for learning to be okay with being just good enough to get by... and for also learning to share parts of me that aren’t perfectly sketched out or shared in a way that makes me look like I’m doing better than I am. I am doing the best I can and that is enough