An entire film about the importance of pleasure? Specifically, female pleasure? Late to the party on seeing Good Luck, Leo Grande but oh my god what a pocket of joy in a sea of otherwise grim news this week. A theme that comes up continually at S3x Talks is the notion of ‘spectatorship’ during s3x - aka, when you feel like you’re not fully in the moment, but rather watching from some external perspective, stuck in your head, worrying about what your body looks and feels and smells and tastes like. Worrying about what the other person might be thinking of you, how they might be judging you. It’s a topic explored really poignantly in this film, as Emma Thompson’s character, ‘Nancy’ is fixated on the idea that she is ‘too old’ to be sexually attractive, and voices that most familiar concern far too many women harbour - that her body is ‘out of shape’ and ‘unattractive’. There is so much joy and so much power in setting down the weapons of war so many of us carry in the battle we’ve learned to wage against our bodies. A battled so pointlessly waged in an attempt to make our perfectly fine bodies meet some societally defined notion of beauty - thinner, more toned, more tanned, more ‘acceptable.’ For me, learning to inhabit my body in a less hateful and more mindful way (following years of anorexia and bulimia) was key to being able to experience more pleasure during s3x - solo and partnered. Through doing s3x therapy, I learned how to avoid feeling like a spectator to my many performance(s) of pleasure and instead feel it. And, eventually, 0rgasm, after years of being unable to come. In turn, learning to be more present during sex and exploring what I like, and what gives me pleasure, has been equally important in helping me learn to better like my body. Nancy says she wishes she had discovered the power of her own pleasure earlier on in life. At the grand old age of 30, I feel v lucky to have discovered the power my pleasure while (hopefully) I still have many fruitful years of juicy orgasms ahead. It’s a discovery I hope S3x Talks can help other people who may similarly be struggling with experiencing s3xual pleasure to make too. What did you think?