It’s okay to not want sex. And if you don’t experience desire, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you (or your partner(s), relationship(s), etc.). . Some people simply don’t want sex. This might be your baseline. No two humans are alike, so don’t force yourself to want something that you don’t find appealing — even if it seems everyone else loves it. You’re the expert in your own experience. . Perhaps sex simply isn’t your cup of tea. And that’s fine. You don’t need sex to survive. It’s not a drive like hunger or thirst. . Perhaps you don’t have time or energy for sex at this point in time. You don’t have to make time or energy. It’s up to you to determine what you value. . Perhaps you value celibacy — for personal reasons ranging from spirituality to practicality. (Of course just because you value celibacy doesn’t mean you can demand it of others — including your partners.) . Perhaps you’re asexual, which means you don’t experience sexual attraction. (Note: some asexuals want to have sex despite not experiencing sexual attraction and some don’t want it. There is great variation among asexuals just as there is among heterosexuals, for example.) This is a big topic. See Asexuality.org to learn more. . Sex is associated with a range of personal and health benefits: closeness, intimacy, connection to self or partners, stress relief, self-expression, relaxation, validation and of course, PLEASURE! But you can cultivate these experiences in many other ways. Sex is not the end-all-be-all. . So rather than getting hung up on what’s “lacking”, focus on what you do enjoy — from deep conversations and meditation to physical affection and other physical indulgences. You don’t have to apologize for not wanting sex — to yourself or others. But because we tend to link romance and sex, you’ll likely want to be open about your needs, desires and boundaries with partner(s) and not impose your boundaries upon them. . Having said this, if you don’t want sex, but you *want to want sex * (perhaps you want to enjoy sex, but never have or maybe you used to enjoy it, but no longer do), stay tuned for the next post on how to cultivate sexual desire — if you want to.