My flight is taking off, so I’ll keep this brief: . Arousal-first (responsive) desire may be your norm. This means that you may not find yourself spontaneously in the mood. You may have to do something to get aroused — and then desire may follow. . Try this: make a list of all the things that might arouse you — from the physical to the verbal to the emotional to the relational to the fantastical. Try one of these things the next time you wish you were in the mood and see if desire follows. . Desire isn’t a drive like hunger or thirst, which you need to survive. It’s something you can cultivate - if you want to! ✈️