So, funny story. And by “funny” I mean “terrifying” because this is probably the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been writing a piece and sharing it widely, but the excitement of having my first @vanityfair byline apparently surpasses the very real probability of a future vulnerability hangover-induced panic attack. I LOVE exercise. I love it so much I’ve built a big portion of my career around writing about it. But before being a fitness fan and journalist, I was (and in many ways, still am) a person with an eating disorder who is really excellent at taking “healthy” habits way too far. I have a hard time understanding the meaning of moderation and when I watched the first few minutes of Physical on @appletv, I burst into tears because that horrible, mean, vicious voice @fullyrosebyrne’s character uses to talk to herself is MY voice. This piece was originally almost 5,000 words (LOL) and what didn’t make it into the final draft is how grateful I am to write about companies like @onepeloton that actively reject the punishing and weight-focused dialogue that permeates so much of fitness culture. I sincerely love what they do and I hope it’s clear this piece is about me and my brain and all the reasons I theorize elder millennial women like myself may be more prone to compulsive behaviors than others when it comes to working out, work, and well, pretty much everything. Thank you to the epically patient people in my life for pushing me to do this, namely a ridiculously supportive partner who doesn’t love social media but is the best agent, manager, life coach, and drinking buddy a girl could ask for. Long winded prologue done. Link in bio. ❤️ • • • #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #eatingdisordersupport #physicalappletv #rosebyrne #exercise #fitness #compulsiveexerciserecovery #compulsiveexercising #overtraining #overexercise #overexerciserecovery #personalessay #vanityfair