TW: Suicide “Shreyas was the life of every party, but little did we know that behind his chirpiness was bottled up sadness. We met at an event last year & right from the start, there was a connection- it was like never before. And before I knew it, I’d started falling for him. But when I told him, he said he liked me too but there were things stopping him. I was disappointed. ‘Boys’, you know? But I couldn’t ignore how he’d look out for me. He’d make me soup every time I felt low. He even painted a portrait of me & my late nani for my birthday – it meant the world to me. Seeing this paradox, I’d fight with him regarding ‘us’ but each time he’d tell me about how there were things that he couldn't talk to me about. I knew about him being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He was undergoing therapy but had left it saying, ‘It’s useless.’ I tried convincing him to continue but he didn’t budge. And since he’d always been so chirpy, I didn’t think much. But I should have... 3 months ago, when I got the news of his suicide, I shut down! I’d actually met him a day before — it was a usual day; we played board games & joked around. But before he left, he hugged me & this time, the hug lingered. Maybe he was trying to say something. If I’d known that it was the last time I was seeing him, I wouldn’t have let him go. Because 2 days later, when he didn’t respond to my texts or calls, I got worried. That’s when his friends reached out to me saying, ‘Shreyas hung himself.’ At first I thought it was a prank. But when I saw the news my heart broke. My confidant, my best friend, was no more... 3 days later, I went to Shreyas’ house & saw his garlanded picture. I broke down; my tears kept flowing. And the 3 months that followed were the same! I wonder what troubled Shreyas so much that he preferred ending his life rather than talking about it. But I’ll never know it. He won’t come back, I couldn’t save him. But maybe, if you’re reading this, I can save you! Whenever the pressure feels too real or life feels ‘too much’, remember there are people who are there to hear you out. And that no problem will ever be bigger than the love your close ones hold for you!”