Throughout my adulthood, from time to time I’ve felt heavy grief over my childhood. The emotional abuse & disconnection was rampant, and I recognize that there are many things I will work on healing from until I transition from my body. The traumatic events shifted my needs & priorities, and I had no choice but to adapt. At the time, I couldn’t have known the long-term impact of what was happening. ⁣ ⁣ Growing up, I saw my peers accomplish things I didn’t feel I could do— mainly because I didn’t care to anymore. School wasn’t a priority at all. Any kind of academic or professional achievements were last on my list. I had given up my interests, or the idea that I could have enriching interests. I didn’t apply to any colleges. I thought it would‘ve been a waste & I would’ve failed out immediately. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ What DID I want? Friendships. Fast fun. Numbing. Someone to love me. Even if I didn’t love me. I attached myself to whatever and whomever I could. Often it didn’t end well. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Trauma interrupts development. Maybe this isn’t news to you. But what it means is that those who have *not* experienced abuse haven’t had this interruption. Their baseline for success looks different. Neurotypical kids who have supportive secure attachments spend their childhoods building brain pathways that allow for self-control, critical thinking, healthy decision making skills, etc.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ This is a conversation about the privilege that comes with having been raised with unconditional love and acceptance. It’s also a conversation about class disparities, about race & ethnicity, about subconscious ancestral wounds that need healing, about comparison, and most importantly about the mandate we have to break cycles of abuse for our children. ⁣⁣ ⁣ PRIVILEGE in itself isn’t bad, it’s what is *done* with it once it is recognized— in this case, the privilege of healthy brain development— that is important. If you were this parent that has entered into parenting with wounds that you didn’t even notice until you started to repeat some of the patterns that harmed you: You’re doing great. You’re noticing now & evolving. And your kids will be privileged because of it, & use their privileges well. ⁣⁣