“I always say the front row at the funeral is different. It shifts your perspective on life. It makes you see not only that life is short, but that it’s a gift. Because everyone's time is so different, what am I doing with this gift?.” - @laurenlondon Ever since I heard Lauren London say this, it has been on my mind. Today marks a year that we lost my dad and it has been a HARD year. I didn’t expect it to be easy, but somehow, I didn’t expect it to be this hard. Living without my dad is tough. As time goes on, it gets harder. I truly didn’t realize how dependent I was on him and not in a monetary way, but he was really MY person. Whether I had good news, bad news, something funny, couldn’t decide what to eat, needed to vent, talk about a TV show, ask who sang a song and so much more, I went to my dad. One of the hardest things about losing someone is, life doesn’t stop, so you have to keep going and some days that’s hard. But I know my dad and if you knew him you know he wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve lost people before, but no one that I was as close to as my dad, so when Lauren said the front row changes you, it does. You always hear life is short...heck I even say it, but it hits different when you witness it. My dad was only 67 when he left us and for me that was to short. This year I have learned a few things, and I want to share them because, unfortunately, we are all going to experience loss. It’s just how it goes. 1. I think this year was harder for me because I was trying not to grieve. I struggled with feeling guilty for still wanting him here when I knew he was ready and he fought a good fight, but God was ready for him and I knew if he was still here, he would be suffering. I now know that I can feel both and it’s okay. I can be thankful he is no longer suffering, but I can still be sad and wish he was here. 2. It’s okay to cry. Loosing someone who meant the world to you is hard and you can be sad and cry whenever it hits you. 3. Yes, my dad and I have a lot of great memories, but it’s okay to want more. It’s okay for me to say I needed more time. The rest is in the comments. IG said it was to long. 😡